sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize