i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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