btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
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Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
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You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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