sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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