woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
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Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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