I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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