don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Randomize