Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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