escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
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walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
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I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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