soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
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But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
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You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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