I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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