Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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