thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize