Dude my mom stole all your condoms
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize