i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
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I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
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I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
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