We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize