who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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