I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
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Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
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apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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