you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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