I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize