I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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