hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
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