every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize