I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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