He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize