I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just cut my nipple shaving
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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