I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize