i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize