I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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