It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Drunk is a universal language darling
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize