I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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