I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
3 2 1 whiskey
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize