I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize