Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
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Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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