He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
