i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Randomize