I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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