Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize