So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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