you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
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I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
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If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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