im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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