Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
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My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Damn victory sex feels great
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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