The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get the cat blown out
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize