so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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