my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Let's paint friendship bongs
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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