after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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