Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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