U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
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I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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