So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize