it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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